JW-WITI CRAFTING SIGHT 9 8 7 8 Nice opening and some great little moments throughout the story. Try not to sperate the reporters thoughts too much. In the opening, "as the old saying goes" has a lot of space before the thought is completed. Easy way to loose a viewer. Make sure to fade in and out every audio track. Some get a little choppy. Try to get your nats tighter. There is a few frames between the start/end of a nat and the reporter track. Make sure to complement the track as well. "Take a look at the maker" we should have a shot of his face. The interveiw shot where he is getting emotional is a little weird. Try to keep things in the interviews look space, not behind them. It gets a little weird if it's behind them especailly when there is a cut shot to a wide. Big jump cut there as well. Nice transition. You always want to hear before you see. Ramp the sound up under the last bite and try to let that opening shot sit a little longer, and let it set in with viewers. Not a fan of the cut out slow zoom. I would rather see them working. Keep the repoter out of your shots. If there in the way, dont be afraid to tell them to move. Nice work on this. JI-WITI CRAFTING SIGHT 8 8 7 7 The opening 30 seconds are really good. The opening nat is up for a little too long. If it was somebody saying something, fine. This was a loud, grating noise that could have been a bit shorter. Maybe a pop of the machine then the nat "I love what I do" followed by another quick pop would have flowed a little better. Great emotion when he is recapping his story, but maybe stay on the wide Go Pro instead of using the tighter one with the black bar on the right side of the frame. Seems like you lost focus during the interview shot at 2:37. I like the framing of the shot, but keep on eye on your focus. Edit your nats tigher. There should be almost no space between the reporter track and a nat pop. That's why it's called a nat pop and not a slow nat fade up. The jump cut at 4:38 (from wide of Steve working to tight of his laughing face) is pretty glaring and I imagine done out of necessity. Good effort overall. You're on the right track, but keep some of these suggestions in mind. JG-WITI CRAFTING SIGHT 9 9 8 8 Strong photography effort. I rather enjoyed the collection of tight shots during production. Experiment with leaving great tight shots up longer. Even adding another 15 frames can make a reporter phrase even more compelling. I'm not as confident the still image pull-outs worked as well but thanks for being creative. Tripod shots are mostly steady and the off-the-shoulders are clean. I wonder if there were any old newspapers available to cover the background story of Steve. Opening sequence was OK but I thought there were too many nat sots between the the opening reporter tracks. You're on the right track!